Imagine if you will, the ballet barre. Dotted from left to right with svelte, legging-clad babes. They delicately pulsate in their well-practiced plié , their polished fingers daintily grazing the bar. Then your gaze is obstructed by mesh shorts and very hairy legs. Their sweaty palms gripping the wooden bar like a one-man game of tug-a-war. I am here to tell the story of two dudes in a ballet barre class.
Blame it on the rain. It was too wet to play tennis so Jon and Matt agreed to try Physique57 in Bridgehampton (Katy, Sarah and I were going anyway). It took a little coercion on our end. I think the guys were nervous. What if they couldn’t hang? Have you ever had a guy in your Physique or other barre class before?
For those who don’t know what Physique57 or barre classes are, barre is a pilates/ballet/weight combo. It’s a hit with the fro-yo crowd. And in case you’re not picking up what I’m putting down, I’ll spell it out: the class is 200% women. Rate Your Burn describes the crew really accurately in their post “Which Barre-bie Are You?”.
I didn’t realize it til we got to the studio, but bringing males into P57, while allowed (and lauded by the front desk ladies) felt a little bit like spoiling the secret. I could hear the man in the Wizard of Oz yelling “Don’t look behind the curtain!” But, nevertheless two men got a to find out “how the sausage is made” but this time black Lululemon Wunder Unders serve as the casing.
Because of Physique’s awesome new student package, Jon and Matt were able to take two classes for the price of one. We took the first class in Bridgehampton with Neil and the second at the Upper West Side location with Emily.
We arrived at the studio and took trips to our gender-specific locker rooms and then we met up in the classroom. Jon and Matt each immediately boasted about what free products they used in the 30 seconds it took them to lock up their belongings. Jon found the time to use two Q Tips and Matt put on some free deodorant. (I should’ve told them about the complimentary apples).
Both teachers enjoyed having Matt and Jon in the class. They got a lot of extra attention (and from Emily a lot of extra adjustments which they appreciated). Sometimes they needed special instruction. The message “Hey ladies! Stand on your toes like you’re wearing kitten heels!” Didn’t resonate with them. Emily turned to Matt and Jon and said, “Hmm pretend your heels are on an Altoid box!”
Now some thoughts directly from the only people to ever wear Tough Mudder sweatbands to a barre class:
Jon on the studio:
“Great. But not so important to me. I don’t care about the windows.” (Editor’s note: the W73rd studio we were in overlooks Broadway through floor to ceiling windows. It’s really lovely.)
Jon on amenities:
“Was really nice to have our own private locker room, but that’s more a factor of us being the only men there for the class… possibly for the entire day (and maybe more). I could have eaten off the floor.”
Matt on the amenities:
“It was lovely. But it’s not worth $36 for me to take a shower.”
What Jon liked about the workout:
” The quad and hip work. The ball is very effective. The band is nice. The pilates mat seems a bit superfluous as the floor is carpeted. I like the weight warm up a lot.”
What Matt likes about the class:
“The leg workout was the best. I was sore the next day. Depending on what weight you used, the arm exercise could be tough.”
(Editor’s note: It was funny to watch them squat and pulse and squeeze. They were awkward (80%)and also surprisingly graceful (20%.))
“We preferred having a female teacher.” (Editor’s note: Yea. Emily is a smokeshow.)
As for their thoughts on their P57 classmates? Matt explained, “I have to admit, it’s nice to be work out with a bunch of hotties.”
Jon ended by saying, “It was a great workout. I will never go back.” Matt said if it were free, he’d take another class.
Both expressed disbelief in the price women are willing to pay for 50 mins of working out. Jon felt like he could a lot of the exercises alone (ie: clam shells). It’s worth noting Jon has super-human discipline.
So men, I know what you’re wondering: Is Physique57 THE untapped place to pick up babes with smoking triceps and a lifted booty?
Neither Jon nor Matt are on the market but Matt did comment on the amount of “talent” in the room and how unexpected it is for a guy to be in there. That alone would be a good conversation starter.
As for me and Katy, we got free classes for introducing Jon and Matt to P57. So everybody wins. More clam shells for everyone!